Misfit Mondays
Misfit Mondays
The One in which we.... Refleckt
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What a wild ride Misfit Mondays has been. Can you believe? We have grown so much over the last couple months. This week's episode we step back for a moment to reflect on the lessons learned along the way. One thing is true though, we'll be there for you. Cause you're here for us. Thank you for the journey so far beautiful Misfits!
Lady Charmaine, are you sure this Shadow Work is light work? It looks questionable to me.
Lady Charmaine:It's fine Mx Zephy.
Mx Zephy:But what about toxic light work?
Lady Charmaine:Uggh, just grab a warm beverage and settle in.
Mx Zephy:End scene! Just misfits
Lady Charmaine:Hello beautiful misfits! Are you fed up with the good vibes only crowd?
Mx Zephy:People telling you where to go and how to be present?
Lady Charmaine:Afraid to make your own choices and free to be you?
Mx Zephy:Feeling just trapped?
Lady Charmaine:Us too! Join us as we turn the light out on spirituality and get comfortable with the shadows right now, with Misfit Mondays.
Mx Zephy:Hello beautiful people. It's Mx Zephy here pronouns are xe | xem and with me is Lady Charmaine, as always pronouns are she | hers. So today, we're kind of doing a little bit of a special episode. We were planning on, you know, filming a series of episodes starting today and I took a step back and realized that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. And it felt like I would be remiss to have a discussion on the conversation we wanted to have without bringing in somebody to kind of balance what we wanted to discuss. And I'm glad I did, because in the process of like us coming out Charmaine and I coming together this morning, I pulled a card from my Iris Aura deck, it's on color, like the color Oracle deck and the words on that"release the ego." So I was like, Alright, so how can we release the ego? What how, what is the best way that Misfit Mondays can show up for the people who show up for us day in and day out? And I was like, You know what, let's take a beat. Let's pause, let's breathe. Let's reflect back on everything that's happened in the last couple months. Let's take a look at where Misfit Mondays comes from, how we've grown, the lessons we've learned along the ways, and kind of what looks what we're looking forward to in the coming months. So Charmaine, what are your thoughts on this?
Lady Charmaine:My thoughts are that I can't believe that we've only been doing this since October of 2020.
Mx Zephy:Right? Because it feels like so much longer
Lady Charmaine:it does it feels like we've had so many amazing conversations that it's had to have been longer right. And it hasn't and we really have learned so much from each one of our guests and you just to kind of break into it. We You know, it all started on a on a whim. It all literally started on a Hey, we sound okay together on on somebody else's podcast, why don't we give this shit a try? And so you know, it just kind of started and then it started to snowball as we say here in South Dakota. And it and it just started rolling. So with our first episode "Yes, and" we really invited in that curiosity and started opening up others that might not be into woowoo aesthetics as we are into Shadow Work and into this their own possible spiritual practice. And and then we got real and discuss some of our own shadow work with late with Madame Save a Hoe and Femme Fatale. So that just seems like forever ago. I feel like I'm not even that person anymore. Honestly. What about you?
Mx Zephy:Yeah, I'm right there with you. And you know, in the end, you know, for people who don't know how the fuck like Misfit Mondays happened, literally, Charmaine, I got done with a podcast. I was driving to a hike. I can't remember it was I think it's somewhere other than on Jersey Pennsylvania. border, and I was driving on a hike and literally universe was like, surprise, bitch, I guess it's time for you to do a podcast and I was like, wait, what I have never done a podcast. I hate the sound of my own voice. Who the fuck am I to start something like this. And I just immediately like FaceTimed Charmaine and I'm like, so I have a really random fucking idea. What do you think about this? And kind of what were you thinking? Like, I want to walk people through this process because the way that Misfit Mondays came together is a little bit insanity.
Lady Charmaine:It is insanity, but that's so I also should say that Zeph and I knew each other at the time but I wouldn't say we knew knew each other. Yeah,
Mx Zephy:we weren't we were friends but we were like friends friends, we were kind of like I talk to you on the I talk to you on a random like Tuesday if I fucking feel like it.
Lady Charmaine:Right. So you know, and this all comes back to a year we met January of 2019 something and Met, had some drinks did some dancing out with mutual friends at the time. I knew Zeph more or less as a friend of a friend. And then as individuals spiritual practices began to grow and evolve, we then kind of had a small Facebook chat that we were going on. So the lot of us could comment, say, what kind of tarot readings we were doing, what was coming through to us. And it just sort of evolved. And then we ended up going through the same yoga program, which we'll talk a little bit more about that later. But so we started to get to know each other a little better and a little better. We were invited to be on this affirmations and innovations, Old Soul lightworker podcast together discussing trauma informed yoga and some of the things that we were doing. And after listening to us on that podcast, it was like, Oh, you were pretty fucking intelligent. We know a thing or two, we sound pretty decent. And that was that so when, like, we should do a podcast. To be perfectly honest, the first thing that came to my mind was hell, yes, we should do a podcast. Why haven't we started this already. Of course, there was some drama around that. There were people that were removed from our lives. universe just kind of yeeted them to the side. And and it was a place of growth and Misfit Mondays, to me has truly been a place of growth from day one, from the moment of inception.
Mx Zephy:And I will say that the way that the actual like the format of this podcast came out was, I think I was talking to Charmaine just briefly about possibly thinking about settling on a date for us to talk about topics we might want to talk about things like this, literally get out on the run, and I maybe five minutes into this run, and all of a sudden, it is like massive fucking downloads from the universe. And I'm sitting there trying to do this run, texting Charmaine notes, like, Oh, I have this. Here's an idea. Here's an idea. And literally, all the titles came out at once all the ideas for everything that happened, like, we got a year's worth of content and like a space of a 20 minute run. And it was literally just, I'm sitting there trying to type it all out and trying to like run at the same time. Eventually, I just said, You know what, fuck this, I can't run and type at the same time because I like ran into where did I run into I ran into something. It's either a person, or a bike or a bench. It was something I ran into. I was like, You know what, let me pause because the universe is not going to universe is relentless right now is like, you need to do this, whatever this is. And whatever comes with this, this is a stepping stone. So just take that jump and do it. And literally, that's what we did. After that after I got that done. I think you and I scheduled a meeting. And we literally just came up with a spreadsheet of all the dream people we had that we wanted to talk to all the topics we wanted to have. And most and actually most of these episodes have been in the same order that of which I received the download. I think maybe we've moved one or two around because you know, life happens and shit gets in the way. But I think pretty much all of them have happened the way they needed to happen. And it's been wonderful because as I've looked back at like moon phases, and I've looked at the energy that's been present at the world at the time, these episodes have kind of fallen in line in line with that, like collective energy that has been happening and I'm just like, Alright, universe. This is interesting. Quite interesting.
Lady Charmaine:It is we really, we lucked out. I mean, our first guest was Yogi Bryan, out of Arizona, who has an amazing following is funny. And then in that second set of recordings that we did, we really gave ourselves permission, ourselves permission to show up authentically, unapologetically. And
Mx Zephy:certain we actually just call him Yogi Daddy, like he gives off Daddy vibes.
Lady Charmaine:Don't get me heated already. Don't get me heated. Yeah, he's a thirst trap in the making. I don't even care. But we also show up completely unperfectly, and we do this while dismantling these limiting beliefs that we have, whether it's around life or around spirituality, your wellness, we kind of cover it all around here. And so that was really fun. To bring that sense of a different sense of joy and playfulness to the mat that Yogi Bryan brings, and just starting to say fuck on the podcast was so empowered. Right and then our Next, our second guest was Kristin Smith from affirmations and innovations or Modiyoga, a virtual studio or a light worker, she is a Jill of all trades when it comes to wellness. And we really started to talk about how we show up for others and treat them the way they want to be treated. And so that was really great, because part of our yoga journey, and I'll speak for myself, I don't want to speak for us. But in going through Modiyoga, training, rather than maybe a more traditional training, though, I feel I got way more out of the training I've gone through than traditional training, because it's tradition plus everything we're dealing with. Now, in the society, we're in learning how to really modify poses for everybody every ability, and then doing the extra work to focus on trauma informed yoga. It's all about making sure we are treating people the way they want to be treated, and showing up for them, and holding that space for them as they learn to move and understand within their own bodies and minds. And so, that was enlightening. And then we took a leap into the cosmic world of Whoo, with Alexander Kriech, and we talked about chakras and channeling and energy work ethics. And I'm just like, how did we do all that already? How did we do all that? And the thing is, is we're not stopping there, folks, we're not. However, it did come to mind that a couple things are missing. And we want to make sure that you know, we know, we know. Zeph you want to talk more about that.
Mx Zephy:Well, before we get to that, I also want us to pause because I think sometimes we don't pause to celebrate, like the fuck out of ourselves and what we've learned because I think, you know, I'm not gonna speak for you. But I know that in the last like four fuck, like what, four months that we've been doing this podcast Now, I know in the last four months for me, it has been nothing but this tremendous growth ride. And I and before we like step into, like, unpacking our privilege and unpacking what this looks like, I want us to like, pause and celebrate ourselves. I want us to, I'm not that I want. I want to invite us. There we go. Let me let me let me come in with a sense of curiosity, not certainty, as my IG daddy Colin Bedell likes to say, I'm inviting in curiosity and not certainty that we have this shit all figured out. Because we don't. Um, but because I'm just thinking, like, back to all these guests we've had, like, I'm still a little flabbergasted, just the amount of one knowledge that we've covered, two, the people that we've brought on just though just all of this wonderful goodness that has just shown up because I think for me, like even just packing from going back to that very first episode of Yes And and we see yes And showing up in almost all our episodes. That Yes, and has been allowing me to really like, pause and lean into, like, I don't have all the answers. Let me open up the door to like opportunity. And let me open up that door to curiosity and say, you know, what, what am I missing here? I don't I'm not the expert here. Like even today, just taking that step back today of not doing the episode we originally planned and not doing that series of episodes. and inviting in that, oh, maybe we need to pause here was a step for me because I was thinking I was like, You know what? We're trying to recalibrate and redo things, and just re look at the ways that we do business and the ways that we show up ourselves. Why don't we just take a pause? And you know, set the example. Why don't we just say you don't want we don't have all the answers. So let's take a pause and reflect where where are the answers that we need. So even though that I think even with you know, Charmaine, your episode, Madame Saveaho, I learned so much about you. And I think that that was the door to that was the door that kind of opened and deepened our relationship, because I began to understand the way that you show up not only for yourself, but the way you show up for others, which allowed me to say, you know, what, how can I match my energy with yours? How can I make concessions, not even concessions and not even compromises? How can I make space? How can I make space in the way that you How can I make space in a way that I show up that invites in your best self that invites in, you know, all that you could possibly be? And I think even with that, I think, you know, reflecting back on, you know, on my episode with Mademoiselle Femme Fatale how I was just like, you know what, that person is so far removed, and even the person that I was for a month ago feels so far removed, just like, just y'all know, like, in the last, ooh, does that echo showing up on your end? I have an echo in my ear again. This is mercury retrograde starting. So I think this is the bullshit the universe wants to put on me like, I'm Welcoming it in with that sense of playfulness right now because it's hilarious. So if there's an echo, I apologize. I don't know what to do to stop it. But going back to, and it started when I was talking about myself, so maybe this is just time for me not to talk too much about myself. So I'm gonna go with that. But for me, like, the last four months have been this huge growth journey of me unpacking my shit and really going, you know what? I'm really not that person anymore. Who am I now? And how do I want to show up for myself. And in that past four months I, even the work I'm doing is shifting dramatically. I even started my own damn business and decided to step in and step into my own power, my own strength. Oh, me and you haven't talked about the grief episode we had this feels chaotic random people. And I'm apologizing for that too, because we did not plan this. This
Lady Charmaine:Don't apologize. This is authentically us. Like it or tell a different friend to listen. We love you, but we love you. Yeah, we've done a lot, we have done a lot. And I will say I do firmly, firmly. And I know I tell you this quite a bit. But I appreciate you for giving me that space safe space to show up. Because I am terrible at asking for help. And you are so good at seeing how things align. And it's like, it's like you can see cells and molecules and you're just like, and this one connects to this atom. And this one connects to this atom. And this one over here goes plays over here. And you show me how everything works out and I'm like, oh, wow, shit. Yeah, okay.
Mx Zephy:I'm not gonna cry. I promise. I will keep the tears to a minimum.
Lady Charmaine:Oh, that's why I put on mascara today. So I you know, I probably build waterproof is exactly what will happen. Um, yeah, we talked about grief, because it's a real issue. And the holidays are hard, without pandemics, for a lot of people. That was that was big. And then you know what some of you might know, some of you might not know, depending on if you follow our social media. We then took a wild sagittarian adventure to Sedona, Arizona here a couple weeks ago, truly, purely on a whim. I live in South Dakota, it's cold, I've been locked up around here. I really needed to get some time away. And I don't mean this in a negative way. But I needed to get some time away from my office and my family and not answer emails and not have to be in charge of where the kids need to run and really focus inwardly. And do some meditation. And I was called to Sedona and I had wanted to go for months and months and months and months and months. It came to me in like June or July last year that Oh, I should go to Sedona. And just again, when they said that, hey, I think I'm gonna go to sit down. And so I've said, Yeah, well, why don't we go? So we did, we went to Sedona we hiked, we vortex meditated, we ate the most amazing vegetarian, vegan food I've ever had. And I feel like I wasn't planned
Mx Zephy:either. By the way, none of these hikes some of these food. It was like that morning. What do you want to do today? Where do you want to do a sunset hike?
Lady Charmaine:Yeah, it was completely unplanned, completely unplanned. But in that, I think it for me, it built such. I don't know. For me it like fused me to you in a way now that it can never be changed. Because mostly, mostly day one. We go on a sunset hike that's unplanned. And I'm like, this is what I want to do. This is where I want to go. This is what I have. I've done my research as I normally do. I but I was really good about not planning things out because like, if you know me from my past, I am like a type one grade a planner. When it comes to trips. I know where the gas stations are. I know where I'm stopping. I know what I'm doing. I know where I'm eating. I've done all this research before I go. And I've really been trying to let go of that the last couple of years so I didn't have a plan. We had a place to stay. We had rental cars. That was it. I had done a little bit of research on trails and knowing some of my own limitations which I learned were limitations I put on myself is what I learned that day. Because about a quarter of the way in up the side of a fucking mountain. I had to sit down on a rock and cry and Zeph, let me sit on that rock and cry. I was so frustrated with myself with life with the expectations I had on myself. I also learned that Zeph though can read a map chooses to go off trail whenever, wherever. And we ended up not on the right trail, but at the very, most perfect, wonderful spot for sunrise. That we could have been gifted with no one around beautiful views.
Mx Zephy:And 90 degrees straight up the side of a mountain.
Lady Charmaine:Yeah, straight up. And the whole time. My best cheerleaders Zeph was just 600 more feet. Just 600 more feet roundabout end of the story. After six and a half, I
Mx Zephy:don't know what like inches or feet is I think it's always bigger than I actually think it No, it is.
Lady Charmaine:Yeah, yep. Something like that. roundabout, we hike six and a half, seven hours that day, we did make it up the mountain down the mountain around the corner, up another mountain and to soldiers pass where I laid down and watched a beautiful view. And we made it back down the mountain safely. There's lots more stories about that. But we had time to spend together to spend in our own reflection to also meet for the first time in person in the flesh, Kristen Smith of A&I yoga and Modiyoga as well as our yoga sister Jess. So we did have a fantastic time. And I have grown I feel like I literally came back from Sedona a changed version again, it was transformational.
Mx Zephy:I'm right there with you. Because I think Yeah, you know, and I love that and I love that you gave me the opportunity to kind of explore because sometimes it's true when I go hiking sometimes I'm like, Ooh, this does not feel like it's the right hike. But you know, Let's fuck it. Let's go anyway, like, I'm that person who loves to seek and to explore and to figure out like, Where is this new this this new horizon that I have not yet like, sought out? Like, how can I? What can I do to go explore that? And how do I bring you along for the journey. I always want to invite you on with wherever I go. Because I know wherever I'm going, it's gonna be exciting as fuck, whether it's because you're with me or whether it's because that adventure is just going to be exciting regardless because of the inherent nature of it. And I am so deeply appreciative that you just allowed me that space to invite you on. And that you also had the patience with yourself to get there because I knew that there were times when you're like, fuck you asshole having me climb up this mountain. What the hell are you doing to me? But you fucking did it like you made it like, and honestly, it was challenging that mountain, I didn't actually know what the hell we were getting into. Because I didn't research it. This entire trip I This was the first trip I have not planned from point A to point B. Like usually I at least have an idea of like the mountains I want to go hike or the places I want to go eat but this time I was like, You know what, let's just go and see what happens. And just having you there and also like, we got some time to really like talk to each other very deeply and very personal and really connect in a way that I am not going to start crying I'm not gonna stop crying. Okay, I'm gonna start crying because like, I think during COVID I have I live alone so like during COVID it has been very hard for me to connect with people and I you know, before COVID I was that was like a fucking hate people people fucking sucked out of out of out of that. But I learned that was really my defense mechanism because people hurt and I've been hurt so much that I was like, I just don't want to do it anymore. And then I just kind of realized you know, fuck all that that's Shadow Work right there. That's just me trying to protect myself and I'm limiting myself in ways that I shouldn't be and Yes, I know shouldn't is one of those like, what a qualifying words whatever, I don't care. But the point of the lesson was I learned that I'm actually a people person and then I shine my brightest when I'm able to balance people's needs against my own and able to lead by example and just show that the way that I fully express myself invites you into a space where you feel safe to do it and I and you know you you feeling that that comfort feeling that safety to explore. You know what your limitations were gave me the greatest joy because it'll let me know that you felt safe with me and feeling safe with me is the is the only thing I can ask people is you know, to trust me and trust yourself and trust that we're going to get there together. And now I'm just fought flat out fucking bawling right now. But like, it's just, I just I feel so much gratitude and appreciation because you really let me see ya. You let me see who I could be just by being myself. And that's not a gift I get very often. I think this was probably the first time I've had that gift, like had that opportunity to be really gifted like that.
Lady Charmaine:Oh, and you're fucking fantastic for who you are obviously. I mean, mountain goat, baby mountain goat, just prancing around those hills, like fairy Fey. I, oh, I'm telling you what. And we saw some of the most amazing things, we took a long road trip up to Flagstaff. I'm telling you, it really truly was a trip of a lifetime and so relaxed. So relax. We weren't doing work. knew we were feeling out what we want next for Misfit Mondays, and what we want next for our own businesses, and how do we take our talents and our passions? And especially our, our passion of building community? And how does that look going forward. And it's gonna be big. I feel that we're in this beautiful pause moment that we've graced ourselves with today. But we have big episodes coming up and fantastic guests that we are putting on the universe to bring in for us. Yeah.
Mx Zephy:And they will say, you know, just to make sure that we are like, completely explicit here, it is okay to pause. because I think that we also don't give ourselves the grace to pause, sometimes they think that we feel this, this need to always be on, this need to always meet expectations. And I'm hoping that, you know, by us, you know, saying it's okay to pause, and us, you know, not doing the traditional format that we've always done the past couple months, and just taking a second to go, you know what, let's reflect. I think in those moments of pauses, the moments where you can really sit down and go, alright, Where, where, what have we done? Where are we going? What are the needs and resources we want and have a need and, and taking stock of like our privileges to because I think this was the other piece, too, is. And I mean, you touched on this just a little bit ago, but part of it was we also I wanted to us to sit down and you know, and talk to Charmaine about this and think about like, what are the privileges we bring into this space? And what are the voices that we're not bringing along with us. Because, you know, honestly, the first like, three, the first three guests we had have all been white, I'm sure one of them has been a woman one has been a straight man, and the other has been queer identified. Um, I think a lot of them white. Um, and I know that I show up, you know, and just to name my identities and my privileges, I'm somebody who is white, and somebody who identifies as gender non conforming, and somebody who has, you know, a decent fucking salary, and I haven't had to struggle through COVID like people, and I think these are, these are all strengths and privileges that I want to make sure that I name because those are those are key to understanding and where I'm not making space for other people. And so I wanted Charmaine and I really reflect and think about like, who are the spaces? Who are the people that we want to invite because I know for me, I want to invite more people of color, I want to invite more indigenous folks, I want to invite in people who have not necessarily been into Shadow Work, but you know, who have a story of their own because everybody has a story. And it's like, how do we? How do we illuminate those stories? How do we invite you into space where you feel safe enough to explore that for yourself? I don't know about you, Charmaine, what are your thoughts?
Lady Charmaine:I agree. And I want to take that back to our Yes. And as I kind of said with you, earlier privately today, but it was just that, yes. Yes, the first three guests that we have had, have been white. And that had a lot to do with people we do convenience. Because when we decided to do this, we decided to go all in and start with the people we had close to us or Well, I didn't have Yogi Bryan close to me, that was the universe giving me my thirst trap. Thank you. And we are grateful and we are grateful. However, as we build out, our year of episodes, we do have people of all races gender identities, pass religious leanings, and it wasn't that we weren't aware and so we I I'm glad that we are being transparent and say, Hey, we know, we know what this could look like. But please trust us that as we go forward, now that we've had some time we've been able to get a routine put some episodes under our belt. We are reaching out we are manifesting the people that we would like to have on our show. And asking, making the Ask Of course, anyone can say no, but we are working on it. So if you know somebody that you think would be a great guest on Misfit Mondays, hey, hit us up. notyourgurusnamaste@gmail.com
Mx Zephy:or Misfit Mondays on Instagram. That's fine. Slide into our DMs,
Lady Charmaine:slide right in. It's already lubed pre lube dm.
Mx Zephy:So what do we want to talk a little bit about who our guests are? Um, because we were bringing in Mark Daniels, Dr. Mark Daniels for Dr mark Daniels, for our episode on what does that episode on that's on toxic positivity, I believe, if not mistaken.
Lady Charmaine:It is is on toxic positivity. Ya see ya. And give me two seconds here.
Mx Zephy:And then I'm also going to name some people that I that we haven't confirmed yet, but you know, and they probably haven't heard it yet. But we're going to put it out there in the universe that we want them on the show. So I'm just going to name them anyways. And if they're listening, and it's a yes for you. Hit us up.
Lady Charmaine:Yeah. So Dr. Mark Daniels is an amazing, amazing human being who is here in South Dakota, and is on the board of the transformation project. Go take a look at them. It's transformationprojectsd.org. They are doing so much work with getting the terrible bills that are going to our state and really getting a hold of all of our government stakeholders and getting these bills taken out of the running. It is amazing the work that they do. But while Dr. Mark is a cisgender straight male, he is also the father of two spirit, trans man who just received his nursing license which is just amazing. And so he has a lot of his own stories. He also works in mental health with indigenous individuals here in the state of South Dakota as well as veterans. So I am so excited to bring him on. Just as someone I've met Personally, I really truly believe he's going to add so much too. Misfit Mondays a super super great guy super great guy can't say enough about him. You go now I've been yapping.
Mx Zephy:two guests that I have and well actually one of them I knew is kind of sort of confirmed because I talked to them when we first started Misfit Mondays and she was actually so her pronouns are she they and I try to use she and they as much as possible because sometimes I feel like when we use when somebody sees this she they they try to use they as much as possible and then forget that she's also it or they use She is like there's always that thing so I want to make sure that I'm mindful of using both and as equally as possible, but thought she was on favorite Fridays with me when I didn't know whenever y'all listening to this also was on my my Haus of Zeph Favored Fridays where I have people come in and just talk about their spiritual gifts and I knew this was cross posting, but if you want to be on Favored Fridays just hit me up on house obsessed and Instagram that's Haus of Zeph or mxzephy@gmail.com it's in my link in my bio But anyways, this actually was all my favorite Fridays and I want Sasha to do a set a series of sessions with us called horcruxes or bust and talking just a lot about soul retrieval and trauma what it does to your soul and really allowing yourself to be seen and just you know, doing a little bit more of that deep dive into Shadow Work. And then the second person I want to bring on is my spiritual mentor Jordan Hope Miller so if you're listening to this, Jordan, I am begging you with everything that I am to come on because I think you're fucking amazing. But Jordan Hope Miller is a spiritual mentor and guru guru guru if I can get my lisp out of the way today at what's a Jordan's Instagram handle. Do you know? I'll top your head. I think it's that at Jordan Hope Miller or Oracle hope Just give me a few seconds.
Lady Charmaine:It is@JordanHopeMillerOracle
Mx Zephy:Great, so Jordan hope Miller Oracle that's on Instagram. But Jordan, I would love for Jordan to come on because Jordan is a black trans person. And I would really love to just talk about what killing the gender binary looks like because I think that a lot of time now it's not I think I believe I need to get into this more I believe thing and really own my beliefs because I think kind of gives me that wishy washy. my beliefs are not solid when I knew that my beliefs are pretty solid. But killing the gender binary and really cursing the boxes we put ourselves in and so asking us, how can we be expansive? How can we fully own everything that we are? So we don't create more of that hetero part, more hetero, heteropatriarchal horcruxes and so that way we can just stop putting our souls out in the universe and really just start keeping our souls for herself. So those are the two that I knew that I want.
Lady Charmaine:I'm trying to get out into the universe that I want Khadaura for episode called move up, move up. Khadaura is a leadership coach, who I found on tik tok. Again, I got a little thirst trapped in there. Trapped trapped it it got a little thirst trap did it it did in there and realize that this dude knows what he's talking about. Amazing coach. Go ahead and give him a follow on Instagram. Is do to do? I don't know. Hold on. I tell you Oh, hey, how would I spell it? Right? I'm really good at things and stuff today. Don't it? Instagram is @itskhadaura, it s KHAD A You are a slide into Kundera's DMS and say, Hey, you need to do Misfit Mondays for us. Haha, calling all the Misfits, calling all the Misfits. So definitely would like to send that out there. And then of course we have few more, but we're not going to give you all of our bag of tricks. Come on. Now. You need to feel surprised. We'd like to keep you in and tissa. Patientce every now and again. So we are definitely putting those out into the universe. What else are we doing next? I don't know, what we're doing next?
Mx Zephy:Well, I had a download because you and I have been talking about well, we got this first year? And is this going to mean the end of Misfit Mondays? If we get to this first year of information? What are we going to do next? And you and I already have plans for what we kind of want to do with the material we have on Misfit Mondays, which I'm not going to spoil because we want to work on that make sure that that's something that you're surprised by. But while we were having this conversation, it just came to me. What if we take Misfit Mondays and make it a one on one interview with people we do we lay all this year of base building with Shadow Work and making sure that people have a thorough understanding of how they can best show up for themselves and show up for others. What if the next year after this first year, we just have people who come on Misfit Mondays and share their shadow journeys with us and share the ways in which we could we could talk a little bit more about you know, how do you best show up for yourself? What are the ways in which you're you're showing up for yourself now what are the ways that you you can identify as growth areas? And then how can we both work one on one to figure out like what this looks like, this is something that just popped in my head. So like
Lady Charmaine:I like that and and a part of the reason I like that is because as I've said a few times now, here we are recording and what this is going to go out in February. And from when we started in October, four months ago, to now I feel like I've at least gone through two if not three total transitions. And in shadow work and life in and I think that it's great. And of course then we're gonna get some of those best stories and they could come back again a year later and see where they're at. See what else that they've learned because our journey is spiritual wellness, mental health. You know, there's never an end there's no end to to the work. It's you choose to do it and you keep going. And the deeper you dig, the longer you're gonna be digging. It's what it's like refurbishing an old house, you open up one wall and you're like, Well shit. Here we go.
Mx Zephy:Yeah, and I think I would love that. And so you know if any of our listeners are out there listening and we're like, hey, I want to talk about my shadow journey. Let's get a conversation going and see what this looks like. It's gonna be at least a couple months before this even happens. But I would love to start taking you know, just names and things of people, you know, who want to. And maybe it even becomes something where we do it like once a month or once every two weeks or something, I don't really know what the format looks like this download just popped in my head, wasn't even thinking about it universe's like, you know, maybe this is where y'all need to go. And I think that the beauty of this is because Shadow Work is always a journey, you're never completely done with it. And if you think that you are, I would invite you to take a really hard look at that certainty, and instead invite in a lot more curiosity and go, you know, really, because I think there's always room for growth. And if you ever stopped growing, you might as well just call it quits. Because life is all about growth and life is about you know, and that growth happens. The more you engage in relationships with people, the more you engage in relationship with yourself, you always find out more. Because for me, Shadow Work is about discovery. And it's about discovering opportunities for yourself. And are you ready for those opportunities? And if you're not ready, how can you get yourself ready? What are the things you need to do to prepare for that journey? Because I think that's what Shadow Work is, is preparing you for that life journey. It's preparing you to, you know, go through some it's not No, it's not, it's it's preparing you to go through experiences in order for you to find a lesson there. Because then those lessons are those gems, where we figure out like, this is how we show up as a less shitty human.
Lady Charmaine:Uh, yeah. And I need to say in, in this Hold on, it's all coming. To be perfectly honest, I remember, I think the reason this is important to me that I do this work is I remember, being the person in my 20s, who had gone through some shit already in my youth had left religion and kind of spirituality altogether. And was like finding my way and I can see that person now. And the, the hurt, and the anger and the depression and all the things that I carried with me into everyday and, and the things that I would complain about, like, I see that. And now when people come to me, and I realize like all of their statements or complaints, I'm like, I was that person at one time. And I remember the people out in the world who had a voice and we're, you know, spiritual gurus and honestly, like, all you have to do is change your mindset. All you have to do is be happy and think happy thoughts. And all you have to do is this, that or the other thing, and that's great. And it is, yes, it is true, comma. And what they're not telling you is that you have to do a lot of shitty shadow work to get there. Because you have to actually deal with all of the anger and the sadness and the stuff that you're holding on to and get real with yourself about. Why do I feel this way? Why do I have these beliefs about myself in my life? What is it that I'm feeling? What is it that I truly want? How does this make me feel? How can I change my perspective, you have to do all that work first, to get to the point where you're like, Oh, yeah. Okay, let me find the silver lining this situation that I don't particularly care for today. How is this helping me? How is life working for me and not against me in this situation, but it isn't all love and light, you just have to change your perspective. It takes fucking work to change your perspective. And that's what nobody tells you about. And, you know, whoever they're out there making millions of dollars on their yoga pants and love and light. And it's not all love and light because there's real work that has to be done there. And they don't talk to you about all the different people that listen to them cry, and be angry and throw dishes. And you know, all the stuff that they've gone through. They don't talk about that stuff. It's like, oh, Yo, I lost my job. And I decided to go to India and Eat Pray Love. Well, good for you. I'm glad you had the money. Get yours sis, hmm? But that isn't the reality for 99.9% of us. We don't have the income or the resources to always get the mental health care. We need to get the actual health care we need to take time away from our family. You know, I know that taking this trip to Sedona is beautiful. It was That was my privilege. Because I had a job that was secure all of last I didn't have to worry about a paycheck. I get to do these things. And I know that there's people out there that don't get to do these things. And so how do you make your self care and your spirituality and your true happiness a priority, when you aren't able to do what everyone up there and out there is telling you to do. And that's really why Misfit Mondays hit me in the heart so quickly when the idea came up is because, yes, people have to talk about the real life shit, the real stuff, not just the loving light and change your perspective, because a lot of work goes into changing that perspective. Sorry, that was total download emotional channel.
Mx Zephy:I love all that, though. Because I think I think the thing that's here that's sitting with me is people might be going well, why? Why? Why is this stuff difficult? Why does this thing suck why is there real work? The bottom line is, is this is all about relationships. This is about a relationship with yourself. This is about relationships with other people. This is about how you show up and how you move in the world. And it takes a lot of self awareness and checking in with yourself and saying, you know, what, how am I taking space or making space here? How is my traumas and my trauma experiment, not not traumas, trauma experiences, because I don't believe that you are your traumas, I think that your traumas happen for you to grow into yourself and grow into whatever you are to be, and who will not even who you are to be who you are as a person. Because I think there's a whole process of remembering, and I'm not going down that rabbit hole, because it's a really long rabbit hole in a really deep breath, a whole nother set of episodes. But it's just that we're in relationships with ourselves and our relationship with each other. Because humans are social creatures, we like to be connected, whether we want to admit it or not. And you know, and even that degree of connection is different for everybody. Some people may not want to be as connected to others as much as you know, somebody else was and that's all okay, but the bottom line is, is we're all in relationships with one another. And we have a responsibility to be accountable to not only our happiness, but to somebody else's, not that you're responsible for somebody's happiness, but you are accountable, because the way that your actions, the way that you respond to emotional situations, or the way that you respond to experiences is going to directly impact somebody else. And it takes a lot of self awareness to realize that, you know, let me let me choose differently here, because I want to make sure that I'm showing up not only for myself, but I also want to make sure I'm showing up for somebody else, too. And this takes work, and it's fucking messy, you're gonna fuck it up. And that's okay. But also, like, celebrate, when you make growth opportunities, celebrate, when you take a pause to take a beat and reflect. Have you just learned to love yourself and embrace the gratitude for being here? Yeah. And if you feel like, Oh, I want to have all those great things. Let's let's chat about how we can get you there. Because I think that, you know, yes, there's institutional forces that prevent us from often, you know, achieving the riches, the material, material riches that we feel like we deserve. And let me be clear, we do deserve it. But sometimes getting there just, it's fraught with complications, because that's the way we are set up as a society. And it sucks, and it's true. But it also doesn't mean that's the be all end all. Because I think the silver lining here is that when we start showing up for each other, and we start building ourselves up, that's when we start building communities that matter and communities that lasts because in our community, we learn how to, you know, engage in communities that support one another. And there's mutual aid, there's mutual accountability, because I think it's in this mutuality, where there's real long lasting connections are forged. Sorry, that was me going down another tangent just as much as you
Lady Charmaine:know, I hear it. And with us, with everything that's going on, you know, astrologically, as well. Something that's come up for me, is the realization of as you work into your soul purpose, and you're, you get in touch with your intuition, and you start to really say yes to the things that are aligned to you. Challenges will come up, and it's like, all around the mulberry bush. The monkey chases the weasel, you know, I feel like I've gone around some of these bushes with the weasel a few times too many in my life. And I'm telling you what, the minute you think you've gotten around that bush and you've gone down the right path, there's going to be a bush that pops up with almost exactly the same obstacle. That looks just a little bit different to see if you're going to chase that sucker again. And it happens. I got it. I got it thrown to me this week with someone popping into my text like Are you going to chase this, this white rabbit down this hole again? Or are you actually going to stay on your path? It happens to all of us. And the thing is, there's no shame in going around the bush a few times. I know there's, you know, I know even with my, my alcohol abuse, there were many, many times where I would come back to the beginning. It's like, you got to get off the path, go this way, and I could hear it. I knew I, I knew what my intuition was telling me. I knew what was being said to me. And I was like, I don't wanna it's too hard. I can't do it that way. Like, go around the Gosh, darn trail again, all around the bush. And then things would change a little bit in life. Things happen, and then I'd get to another point where I could feel it. I was being pulled to come off that path. But it's like, Ah, yeah, sorry, universe doesn't quite feel right for me yet. And I go around the fucker again, until finally, last year. I was like, Okay, I'm getting off. I'm getting off, take getting off this trail. And so now, I've been sober a year. And I can, I can clearly look back and see those points of like, oh, okay, there was a point. And there was a point. And there is a point, just like looking, you know, once you get out of a bad relationship, and you've been able to get through the grief, and the anger and the whatever, all that stuff, and then you look back, you're like, oh, there's a red flag. I didn't see. Well, there's another red flag. I didn't. I thought I just didn't register it. I chose not to view it for what it was. Same thing that's part of Shadow Work, too. You know, just because we go through the work does it mean that we're ever done? Because those relative obstacles will show up to see like, hey, did did you learn your lesson? Are you gonna go chase this rabbit over here? Are you gonna stay aligned with your intuition and your, your soul purpose.
Mx Zephy:So I love that you've literally brought this back full circle, because I think this is where we're going to be ending it. But also, I want to say congratulations on your sobriety for a year because I want to make sure that that gets pointed out. Congratulations, that's a huge accomplishment, and I'm so fucking proud of you. But you know, and you've, you've literally brought this, this, you could not have put this conversation more in a circular motion than you just did. Because, you know, everything you just said was about that card I pulled, it's about releasing the ego. And that is literally what we have been trying to do over the last couple months with Misfit Mondays is releasing the ego and you know, really saying where we kind of experienced challenges. And we we experienced growth opportunities along the way. Um, we've learned a lot of great things from all the guests we've had from Yogi Bryan to Kristen Smith to Alex Kriech. And they've shown us a lot. they've, they've enjoyed this journey with us. And I'm so deeply grateful for them. And then, you know, today we took a pause, because we realized that we've been going full throttle, we realized that we needed we needed to pause to you know, ask ourselves, how can we be more intentional moving forward? So we learned some lessons we look towards where we can be more intentional, and now we're actively, you know, envisioning what Misfit Mondays could be, um, and really just refocusing our efforts in a way that's more intentional in a way that's more purposeful for how we need to show up for the community and how we also need to show up for ourselves. And unless you have anything else to say, I want to say that's basically it for Misfit Mondays, for at least today, just for today, not for like the rest of time.
Lady Charmaine:I say peace out, peace out my siblings in spirituality, and Shadow Work.
Mx Zephy:Wonderful. So thank you so much for spending time with us today on Misfit Mondays. You can catch us on Instagram at at Misfit Mondays, I forgot for a second where it was you can catch us on Instagram at Misfit Mondays. You can also catch us on at gmail at notyourgurusnamaste@gmail.com. And we hope to catch you around here. And if you want to be a future guest, be sure to reach out to us we would love to have you and chat about what your shutter journey looks like. So thank you everybody for sharing your time, your space and your energy with us and we look forward to sharing more wisdom and engaging deeper and community with you. Thank you