Misfit Mondays
Misfit Mondays
Fuck Limiting Beliefs
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Today, from core to community, we discuss limiting beliefs. What are they? Why do we hold them? How do we also make space to light that garbage on fire and walk away? This is the sequel to Fuck Ego, the second episode in a trilogy of episodes that ask us to fuck convention. Step back from the way things have always been done and find a new path that allows you to discover your authenticity. Let’s dive in!
Lady Charmaine, are you sure this Shadow Work is light work? It looks questionable to me.
Lady Charmaine:It's fine Mx Zephy.
Mx Zephy:But what about toxic light work?
Lady Charmaine:Uggh, just grab a warm beverage and settle in.
Mx Zephy:End scene! Just misfits.
Lady Charmaine:Hello beautiful misfits! Are you fed up with the good vibes only crowd?
Mx Zephy:People telling you where to go and how to be present?
Lady Charmaine:Afraid to make your own choices and free to be you?
Mx Zephy:Feeling just trapped?
Lady Charmaine:Us too. Join us as we turn the light out on spirituality and get comfortable with the shadows right now, with Misfit Mondays. Hey everyone, this is lady Charmaine pronouns she | hers and of course with me, as always, is the esteemed Mx Zephy pronouns xe | xem. And today, from the core to community, we discuss da da da limiting beliefs. What are they? Why do we hold them? And how do we also make space to light that garbage on fire and walk away just like 2020. This is the sequel to fuck ego and the second episode in a trilogy of episodes, the ask us to fuck convention. So we're gonna take a step back, away from the what bleehh a step back from the way things have always been done. Why? Because we don't do things the way they've always been done around here. Because we're not even going to edit my mistake out. Why? Fuck perfection, but guess what, that's that's next week's episode. For today, we are going to start on a new path that allows you to discover your authenticity. So let's dive in Mx Zephy.
Mx Zephy:So quick recap, if you didn't listen to a really dense episode that was ego, that I don't know where half that stuff came from. But it was there. So limiting beliefs is kind of the follow up because you're talking about ego, being a lot of the stories you tell yourselves about your opinions, your beliefs, and things like that. And limiting decisions kind of are rooted in your ego, like your limited beliefs, your limiting decisions, they're really, really rooted in that and they're, and they're not really something you're born with either. It just something that kind of shows up in your life. And they prevent us from becoming who we want to be. Because we tell us that, well, I can't do that. Or that's too hard. Or somebody said that I can't so I can't, so I won't and I shouldn't, or whatever it is. We just decide that well. That's not how we're going to do it. And so we miss out on who we truly could be. Because all the no's we tell ourselves.
Lady Charmaine:hmm, hmm. I can hearken this back to episode a couple weeks ago that we did with Yogi Bryan, which was absolutely amazing. But when I started my yoga journey before, I was a yoga teacher, many many years ago, and I walked into my first hot yoga class. Whoo, I was so excited and my pony was up high and tight that day. But I walked in and I was the fat girl in class. You know, I was a not like everyone else I didn't have on my, you know, namebrand yoga pants and in matching water bottle and yoga mat and all of that jazz. And though I loved yoga, and I continued to go, I, I always like, Oh, I could never I could never really be a yogi. I couldn't have a daily practice. I couldn't ever teach. I'm just I'm not like that. I'm not like them. I don't have the qualifications. I don't have a thin body. I don't have this or that. Bull shit. I say bullshit. I teach yoga just fine in the body I have.
Mx Zephy:That's the interesting thing, too is like you flipped the script on this limiting belief and you went out and did it anyways. Because I think that's I think that's the trap that a lot of people fall into. They tell themselves they can't and so they don't and they won't. And then they don't explore what what could be. They don't explore the possibility and the promise of who they are. So like with you is like, Oh, I can't teach yoga. I don't have the body or I'm too I'm too this. I'm to that. But then you decided like, Oh, I'm going to do it anyways, what what made you I like I'm kind of curious now. So I'm gonna ask this question. Getting curious with Mx Zephy.
Lady Charmaine:That's a whole other show folks. *laughs*
Mx Zephy:But what what made you decide like, maybe I can? What does this journey look like? How can I, How can I start this journey?
Lady Charmaine:Well, you know, I have to say that a lot of it had to do with the boom of the social media age, you know, being able to see you and as we've heard, this whole year and, and forever, representation is everything. And whether it's a young girl of color, seeing a great star, who represents, you know, her and who she could become. You we just, you know, we have vice president of elect Kamala Harris. And yeah, this is a huge turning point for a lot of people, but representation is huge. No matter who you are. And for me, and I mean, let's face it, when you think yoga most people think, thin white woman with a cup of coffee with their latte. They're double, faux paux twaa, you know crap, a Chino, something, something, and you don't think about, you know, some chunky Midwest chick teaching yoga. So as social media came around, and I started to see more big bodies, not just you know, women, but men, trans individuals, showing up doing yoga having, you know, these great Instagram feeds full of poses and, and bellies, normalizing bellies was like this huge thing for me, and I was like, I can do this. This is okay, people are doing this. Like, it's okay. Maybe I'm the first one where I live. But I'm not the first one. So I can do it, too. And that was a huge piece for me.
Mx Zephy:So I so I think the thing here is like, let's change representation to two things. I think one is, you have that desire, because I think that even though you said you couldn't do it, I still think a part of you wanted to do it. So I think that desire was like, seeded there at least.
Lady Charmaine:Yes
Mx Zephy:The second piece was even with social media, everything else, you set a goal for it, you're like, well, I see all this representation. So maybe I can do this. And so like, and whether that was conscious or unconscious, you kind of started going towards what you want and what you believed you could do. And so I think that then this leads into that, like that key word of manifestation. And I don't even know if this is the right place to talk about manifestation.
Lady Charmaine:Let's throw that down down for another day.
Mx Zephy:But But I think that's but I think that's what happened is you set a goal, you set an intention, and you you and this manifestation was an action. So you, you you started believing that you could so you did.
Lady Charmaine:Right. And that has been a big part of a lot of what I do. You know, in my whole goal, my whole business goal, when I started speaking to groups, and teaching other holistic modalities was really being the person that I needed in life. You know, when I was younger, when I was going through these phases, I wanted to be the person that I needed. And in order to do that, I had to look inside and look at all of my limiting beliefs and say, How can I help somebody else if I'm not willing to jump that hurdle first? How can I help somebody else if I'm not willing to take a risk for my own joy in my own livelihood? How can I help somebody else, if I'm not willing to start paving a path? I don't expect people to follow me. I'm not a guru. I'm just starting a little little trail. And I hope somebody else can come along and build their own trail go in their own direction, just knowing that their feet will get through the grass just as mine did. And that's how I started. I still have limiting beliefs. I still have things that I haven't gotten courage to do yet. It's like everything that we do. It's it's a journey.
Mx Zephy:So I see. So this is great, because actually, I'm seeing like all these pieces. It's like a gigantic puzzle that's happening in my head. So it seems like there's a seed of passion, then you made a goal based on the representation everything you saw, then you took action and manifested the fuck out of that. And then you decided then because of the goals that you were achieving, and the action that was taking and feeling so great and positive, that led to empowerment, and feeling like strong and capable and able to do this. And I think that's where this whole like, oh God, where was I at? Oh, I just lost my entire train of thought,
Lady Charmaine:Oh, so we're fucking limiting beliefs here.
Mx Zephy:There we go. So yeah, so as fucking limiting beliefs. So it's like this step by step process of like passion goal action empowerment and then that's how we're getting past this limiting belief and we're looking and I think the other key piece to here was like you were looking at your life and you're saying, What is this? Is this action in alignment with who I want to be? And who I see for myself? And am I trying to improve it? Am I not like, what direction Am I taking?
Lady Charmaine:Right? And I still have big directions to take, you know, there's, there's things out there that I still want to do that I haven't stepped into my power for yet. And there's big transitions that I want to make or need to make that I have not. I'm not prepared to do yet. And that's, you know, self awareness. She's a bitch somedays.
Mx Zephy:You know, but I love this thing where you're saying yet because for me, that's, that's almost negating or almost diminishing the power of like this limiting belief, because you're, that tells me there's a seed in your head that, okay, it's not yet but it's not a no, it's a maybe it's a potential, there's still something that could happen here. And I think it
Lady Charmaine:It's a not now.
Mx Zephy:Right. And I and this is the thing I heard about, like even in like work, and in just daily life, one of the things I bitch about so much is language, because language shapes so much of our reality and how like, we move in the world, and how things and how we, you know, interact with the world and how, I don't know just how, who we are as people is so much shaped by our language, like when we think and this is something that you know, because I do prison abolition in my day job. Charmaine knows this. But like when we talk about people who are incarcerated, people who've experienced the system, I don't use words like felon or inmate or convict or dah dah dah, because when we use those language, it strips away dignity, it strips away humanity. And instead by using like, former incarcerated person, or somebody who's experienced this system would put that people first, then we're saying, Oh, this is a person. And I think this is that piece of language, because this is now causing us to take a step back. It's building that self awareness and saying, alright, so maybe this is not a you know, you know, in Charmaine's case, this is not No, this is a potential, this is a maybe, and so we can take that maybe and do something with it. versus if you had said, like, I have this belief. And that's it. Well, there's really nowhere you can there's no jumping off point for you, there's nowhere to go where you can be like, well, I can I can change this because you've already said no. And you set that you set that limit right there.
Lady Charmaine:Right, it's like cut it. So. And I know not everyone listening might subscribe to this, what I'm about to say, but I truly believe that we are here individually with a soul purpose. And there are many ways that we can get to that purpose in our journey. But it's there. And I know that there are certain things that I need to do. I just feel it in my heart and my soul. These are things that I need to do. I'm not ready for it now. But I can see it, you know, like I can I visualize I could see all these things. And I think that when we say no, when we allow these limiting beliefs to be finite, it's like we're cutting that cord to our soul purpose. Well, now we've got to find a different path. And like, let me throw a metaphor in here. Are you ready for it? *laughs* Okay, so you might not know this, because I don't know if you know about farm life at all. But if you're gonna make rope. *laughs* you're gonna make rope, you know, you you have or, or yarn if you're spinning, and you're really spinning multiple fibers, multiple strands, and the more strands that you get together, the thicker your rope is going to be and the sturdier it's going to be. So we want these strings to our soul purpose to kind of come together, you know, you want to kind of align yourself and all of these different areas of your life together. So then you have this one thick sturdy strand getting you to your purpose. And then when we're saying, nope, I can't do that. I'm, you know, I'm not good enough for that, that, you know, I'm to this, I'm to that and we and we're finite about it, then we're cutting that strand, were completely giving away a piece of that power and the piece of the strength that could get us to our purpose. So Wow, I feel like that was deep. Where did that..
Mx Zephy:I can make deeper if you want, oh, for me, like,*laughs and giggles* Let's go a whole eight inches. So. So for me, like I see these, like, if we're, if we're you know, to pull on your metaphor a little bit more to, you know, on, you know, unravel it just a little bit, if we look at each of these individual fibers as choices, then we can see that these aren't really, these aren't truths, these aren't truths about us, these aren't absolute, these are just beliefs. And so with that, it that tells you that your limitations aren't real, and that you have choice in the matter, and that you have choice to, you know, to align with your soul purpose or not. And whenever you don't, that's when that rope frays a little bit, because you're not lining up with that. Um, and when that rope is fraying, it's usually because you're sticking by a limited belief, as opposed to saying, Is this really a truth? Or is this a belief? What is this? And how do I? And how do I, you know, how do I what's that word? What's that word for... fusing, when you're fusing rope ends together and making them, you know, and you're fusing those rope ends to make them a little sturdier, because when you burn like the end of a rope, so I was Boy Scout growing up, just let's just throw that weird thing out.
Lady Charmaine:You did sort of know what I was talking about.
Mx Zephy:Yeah. So like, when when you fuse a rope, you actually burn the ends of it, and it keeps it from unraveling.
Lady Charmaine:This is true.
Mx Zephy:So. So when we when we have this choice, and you're and So I'm going to ask you a question just for fun. Do you you're getting these rope strands, and these strands are aligning with the truth, and you've made these choices to align your truth and you find your soul purpose, then you can kind of fuse it and make sure that you stay sturdy. And then those limiting beliefs don't really affect you anymore, because you've just you've made that choice to not stick by those limiting beliefs and to step into your power. And I took that way deeper know what do you know what the bite of a rope is? Yes, but not right now. So I've*cackles* heard the term but I forgotten it.
Lady Charmaine:Oh, I thought you were you picking up what I was putting down but your not. Okay, so the bite of the rope is when you fold your rope in half. And it's the middle looped end, you know. So you've got you put pull your two loose ends together, and you want it to be perfectly even. And you go all the way down. And then when you get to that, that loop that's left the the middle, that's the bite of the rope. Now, why would you know that? Why would I know that? Well, riggers know why. That's why Do you ever need to tie anybody up? I'm your gal. Oh, I can help you, help you. Yeah. So it's always good to know how to use your rope and know how to tie a solid knot. And it's also very good to not cut your ends from your soul purpose.
Mx Zephy:Right? Well, and you know, I think tying people up and tying yourself up, folks is a good place to, you know, to wrap this one up, or tie this one up.
Lady Charmaine:We're tying up these loose ends, we're gonna, we're gonna take them up, give them all that all dragon fly, tie here and see if we get out of it.
Mx Zephy:And I think that, you know, here, it's like, even small knots are good knots. Like even when, when you're when you're tying these things up, like taking the smallest steps. I'm picky, any of these small steps will help you release that limiting belief. And these first steps don't even have to be perfect, you know, fuck it up, you know, fail into that let fail into that limiting belief. Follow that limiting belief as far as it'll go, fuck it up, fail, come back and figure out what, whether or not that's the actual truth. You know, really dig into it. You don't need to make it perfect all the time. Just, you know, just keep trying to head in the right direction and keep trying to figure out like, is this who I really am? Is this really aligning with my highest purpose? This is really, and highest purpose for me is also like highest good, like, Is this where my soul was trying to go? And just be and then also, I think celebrating and acknowledging that step too, because I think it's so celebrating those small wins are the things that we forget to do. And I think that those celebrating those small wins and making sure that we pay attention then maybe acknowledging that we have done that is saying that hey, I've succeeded. I've accomplished something. And even if it's small things Fuck yes.
Lady Charmaine:I want to I want to add to that. That whoosh just went right through my head, damn it. It was so good to Oh, why? Free, breaking free from limitations. I have no idea like it was right there and then it was right not there. All right, so I guess we're gonna do a guided meditation because I don't know, maybe it'll come back to me.
Mx Zephy:Maybe.
Lady Charmaine:Maybe. All right. All right, everyone, our beautiful, beautiful misfits. You know the drill. If you are unable to take in a guided meditation at this time, go ahead and pause us. And we will be right here waiting for you when you do have time. Otherwise, let's come into a nice seated position here. Ah, and we're going to place our hands on our solar plexus. So right above our belly buttons. And let's take a nice deep breath in through our nose and really allow yourself to expand through the belly to take up space here. Here's a limiting belief that we got to suck it in all the time, we don't inhale and just really let the air flow into the belly. And then blow it all out. Blow which leaves no air left, bring that belly button all the way back to the spine. Take a nice, deep inhale, again, filling the belly and exhale. And inhale again. And exhale, you can just come back into your regular breath here. But let's be conscious of how our Solar Plexus area moves as we breathe in and out. This area here and our lungs and diaphragm expands, holding our willpower and our drive. And this is the center of our chakra system. So our our Solar Plexus is really fueling energy both up and down our chakra system. And this is where you we can push through limiting beliefs. And this is also part of the seed of our intuition, our gut feeling. As we mindfully are aware of the movement of our solar plexus, let's give thanks to this space to the fire it gives for our willpower and drive and for our gut feelings. And let's ask for clarity here as we go forward this week, to be conscious of our gut feeling. And to not label them as either good or bad. But to feel them and to allow this place to lead us rather than our limiting beliefs. We're going to set down the ego and the limiting beliefs a little more. And we're going to come back to this fire within us and to listen more clearly. When you're ready, you can slowly, gently open your eyes and come back to this space. And whenever you're having a moment of a limiting belief this week, go ahead and just give your belly a little rub. You know, just just give yourself a little love there and take a moment to breathe and be conscious of your gut feeling over your head feeling. Thank you so much for joining us. We're so thankful for all of you for all of our listeners across the globe. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate you beyond words. We hope to see you right back here, next week.
Mx Zephy:Thank you for spending time with us on this week's Misfit Mondays. If you love what you hear, subscribe to new episodes and drop a review, or connect with us on Patreon and Instagram. We're looking forward to catching you right here next week. Thanks, folks.